YOUR LEGACY & THE STAGES OF SUCCESS

“First they ignore you, then they laugh at you,
then they fight you, then you win.”
— author unknown but often wrongly attributed to M. Gandhi

I hope to leave a legacy when I stop teaching. Truth told, I think about this all the time. You do too, right? Legacy-building is innate in hard-working, dedicated people. People like that want their life’s work to mean something, to impact others, to advance society in some way. Successful scientists do this via discoveries that improve people’s lives. Successful real estate agents do this by helping scores of people find a place to belong, start a family, and feel safe. Successful lawyers do this by fighting for a more just legal system or facilitating deals that make the economy grow. Successful doctors do this by healing sick patients and ameliorating suffering. Successful professors do this by inspiring students and furthering knowledge. You get my point: legacy matters and defines a person’s professional success.

Your legacy should be on your mind regardless of whether you are new on the job or on the verge of retirement. To me, the best way to measure a legacy is through the total number of inches a person gains over the course of a career. Notice I said inches and not touchdowns. It’s the little stuff that adds up to a legacy. That’s what people remember when all is said and done. For example, if I lost my job tomorrow, I wouldn’t go to my office and stare at my awards or start reading my resume. Instead, I would go home and open the box that overflows with letters of thanks from people I’ve impacted perhaps just a bit over the past fourteen years. These are the inches that truly matter in my job and you’ll need to frame the inches in your job similarly.

“Well, that sounds great,” you say. “I’m ready to get after my legacy!”

Not so fast. It’s important to keep in mind that legacy-building is no easy road. It’s actually better framed as a mine field. In fact, if you choose to do something of value with your career, then you can be sure that the journey will be daunting. People will not always value your ideas or root for your success. You will likely face jealousy and contempt. People will try and sabotage you at every major step. People you thought were friends will duck for cover when the big shots take aim at your work. Most of these attacks, disappointingly, are likely to come from your colleagues as opposed to outsiders.

Recognizing this reality was eye-opening for me as I started my career. I thought that people around me would be proud of their young colleague and feel satisfied that I was on the “team” and already contributing a great deal. In fact, the opposite happened – especially as I gained some prominence in my field. Today, I see that the quote above has played out in order over the course of my career to date. Looking back, I now see that I stumbled through the four stages of success without a clue as to what was happening or what was to come next. To be specific, I was (1) ignored, (2) laughed at, (3) attacked, and (4) finally able to overcome these obstacles and focus primarily on the legacy I wish to leave as a teacher and speaker.

My hypothesis in this post is that you will likely look back at your career and – if you actually accomplished something legacy-worthy – see that it evolved through the lens of these four stages as well. The problem is that few people have the foresight to recognize all of this as it plays out in real-time.

Knowing which stage I was in and what I would face next would have made my journey so much easier. I could have then said, “Okay, Corey. So, this is the stage where people laugh at you. It’s tough to be mocked but gird up and turn the other cheek. Next, they will come after you in an attempt to thwart your success. But, don’t worry because, if your work is as impactful as you think, then your legacy will be secure in the end. Remember, dummy all of this is in the quote.”

Alas, hindsight is 20-20. What follows is a brief account of how I interpret these stages today, after much thought, along with how I struggled blindly through each of them before I saw life this way. Think about this a bit too before reading on and then see if my story mimics yours:

Stage #1 | Accept That You Will Be Ignored

I have come to learn that most people tend to live in their own bubbles. With limited bandwidth, a me first nature, and other selfish people on the prowl, it is more comfortable in there. I am guilty of this too and it takes effort to break free from this me-only mentality. To this end, most people care about their own life, their agenda, and what’s on their mind at the time much more than helping a stranger – even if that stranger is now on the same team. This is all human nature, I guess.

I have found that this is especially true at work. As a newbie in any profession, it is tough to get attention. Think about the masses of people in any given field trying to leave a mark. In the midst of such chaos, it doesn’t really matter how good you are at first. People are going to ignore you until you start to prove yourself. In terms of ethics, this is the most innocent stage of the three bad ones. People here aren’t generally trying to hurt you; they are just looking after their own interests and not taking an interest in your career. This is not the stuff of great company culture, but it’s also not awful.

I remember this stage in my career distinctly. Being ignored even after a big accomplishment left a negative mark on my psyche for a long time. Let me explain. When I first arrived at my job, people were friendly to be sure. I felt welcome. But that misses the point. Though many of my colleagues were friendly, very few seemed to care deeply about what I was doing or my philosophy of teaching. Basically . . . they just ignored me. I remember sending emails to have my classes videoed so I could review them and post the lectures for my students. No response. I remember trying to get my classes at certain times or locations. Ignored. I remember getting on the elevator or sitting at faculty meetings and no one saying a word to me. I remember getting perfect teaching evaluations a few quarters in a row and having it not even come up in my one-on-one meetings with my bosses.  It was a lonely professional life during this time,

There was a source of hope, however. I found it in my students’ reactions to my work. They did not ignore me; in fact, they would not leave me alone. They were pleasantly surprised by and digging the new energy I brought to the classroom. Ironically, in class and in office hours, they did more to help me become a good teacher than did the institution that paid my salary!

That said, Stage #1 still stung. It likely will for you too, so gird up for that and find another source of inspiration. For me it was my students, for you it will be . . .

Stage #2 | Accept that People Will Laugh
at Your Budding Success

Most things at the beginning stages of their growth are amusing, not threatening. Think about a baby lion or an oak tree sapling, for example. At first glance, these things are vulnerable and it’s hard to see them turning into anything mighty. They have potential to be a big deal, to be sure. But, that’s much tougher to see – especially if all you have time for is a cursory glance. The same is true with people. Growth takes time and it’s very difficult to recognize whether one of your people will stand out in the future. Being able to judge future productivity is a rare talent. It’s much easier to assume that someone will be middle-of-the-pack rather than a superstar. Let’s face it, the odds favor the averages. And so, when more senior folks see a newbie striving to be a rising star they tend to find it amusing.

Perhaps a different way to look at this is through the lens of a coach. I used to teach tennis, did so for years. This means that I saw all types of players. Almost always, when someone first learns the sport, they struggle. Tennis is tough and very few people are naturals. It’s easy to chuckle when someone whiffs at an overhead smash or sends a backhand over the fence. They might have hit the last five shots over the net perfectly, but it’s the mess-up that draws the most attention. In other words, their talent is not refined, and they make stupid mistakes. Someone more experienced could easily think of them as looking foolish and far beneath them – as a tennis player and as a person. This is especially true if the player has a stated goal of being really good at tennis and the observer has no real interest in the new player’s success. Then, the most obvious thing to do is laugh at her inevitable mistakes. This mocking causes most novices to back off the goal of being great and potentially give up. In the end, Stage #2 is really just a way to norm people into a culture of mediocrity. “You try and outshine me and my performance and I’ll make you look like a fool!” For people who care a lot about what others think of them, this can be devastating.

I keenly remember Stage #2 of my career. As someone trying to be better than my colleagues (shouldn’t we all at least try) and avoid the same old, same old way professors approached higher education, I was laughed at. More specifically, after a few years, I started to get some traction on campus as a teacher and in the speaking world. My teaching performance was solid, but, to many of my colleagues (not all as I had a few supporters), I was a sham.

I conducted my classes in an unorthodox way. I gave an oral final while literally everyone else would assign essays, group projects, or multiple-choice tests. People laughed at that type of assessment. I created an Ethics Boot Camp to be held over a weekend. People laughed at the thought of teaching someone to be ethical . . . especially on a Friday night. I cared about ethics in a personal and not just an academic way and that was not appropriate for a university. People heard that I was speaking to college students or the occasional business on the topic of “being a better person” and authenticity. They laughed at me. They saw me as a 29-year-old simpleton with nothing wise to offer. What could I teach people about ethics, I went to law school, remember! I recall getting off the elevator or leaving meetings multiple times and seeing my colleagues laugh at me as the doors closed. It was clear that I was a joke to them.

To me, this hurt far worse than being ignored. And, to be fair, I reacted negatively to all this and instead of reaching out to find out why they found my work so humorous, I avoided them or started quibbles. It was annoying to say the least. Importantly, however, I kept on my path towards the legacy I desired.I knew that I had an interesting way to approach my field and I wasn’t going to give up . . . yet. However, it was about to get a lot worse in Stage #3.

Stage #3 | Accept that People Will Fight to Keep You Out of their Club

Professions in general are populated with all types of people – especially when it comes to effort, potential, and talent. The best organizations find a critical mass of those who put in serious effort, have the potential to leave a legacy (an impactful legacy requires a high moral character, by the way), and and very talented. Obviously, such people are hard to find. And so, more realistically, four main categories of worker emerge:

• The Uber-Successful: These are people that you read about in the newspapers or see on TV. They are amazing – at least at their jobs – and the world is a better place in some form because of their work. Think Steve Jobs (business), Michael Jordan (sports), Florence Nightingale (nursing), J.K. Rowling (writing), Steven Spielberg (movies), Margaret Thatcher (politics), and Oprah Winfrey (television) to name a few. Chances are your organization will not have one of these people, they are very rare.

  Interestingly, however, the Uber-Successful often tell stories about how their careers followed the arc of the quote above. They were ignored, laughed at, and attacked all before they found great success. Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team and then went home, locked himself in his room, and cried. M.J. became the greatest professional basketball player of all time. Steven Spielberg was rejected from the University of Southern California three times. He is now one of that University’s Trustees, has won three Academy Awards, and has a net worth in the billions. I would bet that most of the Uber-Successful people in this world have similar stories.

• The Distinguished Professionals: These are people who make a big difference in their professional lives as well, just not as prominently. These are the folks you want desperately in your organization. Distinguished professionals put in hard work, demonstrate the potential to make a difference, and possess the talent to do so. The world at-large may not know their names, but a great number of people are tremendously grateful for their work. In fact, Distinguished Professionals are likely the best group in which to reside because you can be very successful absent the trappings of fame.
• The Poor Performers: The poor performers tend to wash out of any given profession. This is generally because one of the key three attributes – effort / potential / talent – is missing. For example, there are plenty of people in this world who have great potential and are very talented, but they just don’t work very hard at those skills. This is frustrating to the less-talented among us and we say things like, “What a waste of talent. He could have been a great (fill in the blank)!”

  Or, there are people who can outwork anyone but just don’t have the talent to make it in their chosen profession. This would have been me, for example, had I chosen to be a doctor. My brain just does not comprehend science – even at the most basic levels. My kids, if they’re smart, will never come to me with their Biology or Chemistry homework. That’s for mommy. I am glad that I did not choose a medical- or science-related field as I would have been a Poor Performer and likely washed out. The same goes for me and professional basketball or flying Air Force jets. Those careers, while awesome-sounding, were just not in the cards for me considering my potential and talent. I could not work my way to success there. The bottom line is that you can be very successful at one career and not at others. You are likely not a Poor Performer in everything. You’re just looking in the wrong places for your legacy. This is yet another reason to find your calling in life!

• The Average Joes: These people are unremarkable when it comes to their jobs. Note: they are not bad at their jobs. In fact, their work product is average to above-average. Some could be better but have other priorities. Others try hard but just are compelling at their chosen profession. They combine their moderately-hard work with above-average talent to get by. They are net positives to their organization but just barely. They would earn a B- or a C in my class; in other words, a passing grade. This performance means that their jobs are stable. They are in the club, so to speak.
  

The problem is that, when the Poor Performers wash out, the Average Joes reside at the bottom of the organizational totem pole. This is why this group causes most of the problems described in the quote above – they are the ones who most commonly ignore, mock, and attack. Another way to look at it is that the unremarkable group in any profession serve as unofficial gatekeepers. There are more of them in the workplace than there are people in the other groups and Average Joes have the most to lose when a rising star begins to develop. At the same time, the Uber-Successful and Distinguished Professionals are usually too busy working to spend time immersed in this petty behavior and they tend to care about their profession in a way that makes them sympathetic to new talent.

The Average Joes do not want more competition to push them or shine a light on their inadequacies. So, when a rising star threatens their world, the natural tendency is to fight back. These attacks can take many forms depending on the workplace. But a few seem universal: slander, cabals formed to swat away new ideas, angry words and actions, bullying, exclusion from key committees, programs, or decisions, etc. The whole point of Stage #3 is to get you to quit, give up, and look for meaning somewhere else.

I experienced Stage #3 in a brutal way. As I became more and more successful at this profession, things changed quickly. People stopped laughing at me and now seemed out to get me. In my opinion, the Average Joes at my institution attacked me in ways I never would have suspected. They wanted me to quit. For example, my ideas were shot down rudely in meetings or denied by the administration. I was literally yelled at for questioning decisions in meetings. My department was nearly shut down in order to eliminate positions like mine. Despite having nearly perfect teaching evaluations, I was not allowed to teach in the flagship programs. At first, I saw all of this as an indication that I wasn’t putting forth quality ideas or that I wasn’t ready for the bigger stages. I now see what happened mostly as a struggle to keep me and my work out of the educational club these people had created and lived within for years prior to my arrival.

They constituted the establishment and I was trespassing.

Their strategy nearly worked. I almost quit. My wife and I had many talks about my doing something else with my life. She encouraged me to ignore the “noise” and focus on my students. It was some of the best advice I have ever received. She sensed that Step #4 was on the horizon.

Stage #4 | Win and
Leave the Legacy You Desire

The truth is that time passes and – as long as you are offering something of value to the world – you will break free of these chains and be freer to work on legacy building. You will need to define for yourself what it means to “win” when it comes to your legacy in your chosen profession. Chances are, however, your definition will revolve around the new bandwidth and space you have to really dive into your work without artificial obstructions from your colleagues. This doesn’t mean that your work now becomes easy or that people stop attacking you. It just means that you just don’t have to watch your back as often and that allows more forward focus.

It’s tough to know if the fourth stage of the quote has quite come true in my life. Have I “won?”I know this . . . I am rarely ignored and few people laugh at me as I do my job now. I am not the most popular professor among my colleagues but I have earned their respect. I still think there are a few people around who wouldn’t mind putting me through the stages again. But, my successes and perseverance have made their complaints sort of irrelevant.

I see now that my ideas are often copied by my colleagues instead of shot down. It is not nearly as hard to push forth my goals and new programs. People listen when I speak and respect my teaching and writing. My sticking-it-out worked and part of that is the nature of my profession as a tenured professor. You might have to exit and look for another place to apply your talents.Don’t expect your new employer, however, to be free from the stages of success. There will likely be some Average Joes there too, Which leads me to a final point . . .

Important Note to Bosses Everywhere

It is important to note here that bosses can help get you to Stage #4 much more quickly if they care about the culture and recognize the natural tendency of the Average Joes to treat colleagues as threats. If you are a manager, I encourage you to take an in=depth look at your people and see if this is happening in plain view or behind your back. Are you ignoring your rising stars (Stage #1) either because you haven’t taken the time to recognize who they are or because you are jealous of their potential? if so . . . stop it immediately! Are your people laughing at their efforts (Stage #2) in order to make themselves feel better about their merely-average performance? If so, put an end to that ASAP! And, perhaps worst of all, are you or your people actively thwarting the success of your rising stars (Stage #3) to protect coveted positions in the club? If so, that is a mistake that might cost you your job. My advice is to look at your talented, but underappreciated people differently and give your organization a chance to thrive.

The Moral of the Story

Beverly Sills said, “There are no shortcuts to anyplace worth going in life.” If something matters to you and is also important to at least a segment of your community, by all means persist. Make it your legacy. But, just be prepared to have to fight to see it through. People are unlikely to jump on board and support your ideas – even if you are brilliant, a great decision-maker, or even right most of the time. They will ignore you at first. Then, as you gain traction in your endeavor, they will begin to laugh at you. Next, they will fight you to keep you out of their club. Finally, if and only if you can tough through all this pain and agony, your ideas have a chance of bursting through the noise and you can focus on your legacy.

Ponder this post as you think about the next steps in your career. Now you will do so with the foresight I lacked.

More soon,

Corey

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