Hope you like the new domain name: Ethics.Blog. How cool is that; short and sweet! Memorize it and send your friends over. We have 500 or so people per day reading more about how to become character-infused souls. That’s cool too. Thank you! On that note, you keep asking me to write more often. The guilt trip worked. So, starting now, look for daily posts here instead of a few times a week. I’ll do the 2-Kid Tango, sneak in some quiet time to think / write, and try my best.
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Riddle time: What do we seek dearly but rarely find? Answer: A genuine sense of contentment.
Uh oh. Let me try and read your mind. “Cute riddle, Corey, but do we really have to go there? That’s sort of a sore subject for me . . . so I’ve just been ignoring it.”
I know. Me too! At least, that’s what I used to do. But, tough conversations like this are the whole point of this ethics blog. Think about it this way, without the fulfillment and peace that come with contentment, it’s impossible to be the best you, your authentic self. And, you certainly need to feel content in order to wake up genuinely and consistently happy. These are top life goals for any person, I’d hope. So, that’s a good enough reason to bring it up now, right?
The reason why this is so uncomfortable for people is that, like a brilliant rainbow after a storm, contentment is elusive. If you promised people you could provide them with the ONE THING they wanted more of in their lives – sleep, money, nice stuff, education, career success, travel, beauty, popularity, or contentment – what would win? What would you choose? My guess is that, hands down, people would choose more contentment. Perhaps it’s because contentment is the most rare and precious item on that list of desirable things.
So, What is contentment?
Let’s break the concept down a bit. The word contentment means to possess a state of satisfaction or an ease of mind. The best synonyms are peace and fulfillment. You can boil down the idea to one question really: In the morning, do you wake up genuinely and consistently happy?
It’s hard to fake how you feel when you first wake up. And, I don’t mean that tired feeling we all sort of shrug off each morning. That’s different. I’m talking about how we feel deep down about our lives when we rise for the day. I have good days and stressful, hard days, believe me. But, at this point in my life – finally – I generally wake up happy. Then, my day goes one way or the other. The next morning is similar – I wake up happy and then wait and see where the day leads. I can’t control my sense of contentment the night before with words of affirmation, positive thinking, or a fearless workout. Instead, the feeling represents the sum total of how my life has gone over the past year or so. Fix that and you will wake up happier. That’s the only way to do it.
Content people also remain content with life even when bad things happen. When they experience pain, they are able to rebound to their contented state. It’s clear to me now that contentment doesn’t ebb and flow. Instead, content people are consistently infused with the peace that comes with how they live their life in the short- and long-term. This means content people are angry and unhappy less often. They apologize and forgive more quickly. They spend more quality time with loved ones. And, they have the bandwidth to brighten the lives of others more consistently.
When I put it like that, who wouldn’t want to feel this way . . . all the time!
SOLVING THE RIDDLE:
FINDING THE PEACE WE SEEK
Peace remains elusive as we push for more and more worldly success. Most of us are always looking for a better job, a higher salary, more respect / esteem, nicer stuff, and a larger nest egg. Basically, we push to build our careers, finances, possessions, reputations, and retirement savings – our Worldly Portfolio. We want this portfolio to bulge in the future, so we push as hard as we can in the present.
This concept is near and dear to my heart. I struggled to find this sense of true fulfillment by building my worldly portfolio for a period of my life. I searched in vain for contentment from the prestigue of my job, the breadth of my education, the coolness of my possessions . . . the strength of my successes. The problem is that contentment is rarely, if ever, found in those things. I wish someone would shared this blog post with me sooner!
Problematically, these efforts often come at the expense of contentment-building assets such as our character, family, friends, hobbies, and talents – our Authentic Happiness Portfolio. There just is not time to tend to both sets of priorities. This divide swells as we age. The fear of limited time left to contribute rears its head and we feel we must choose. Amidst the chaos, it is easy to forget that may already have all we need to be happy. We willingly enter a race designed to build a Worldly Portfolio that disconnects us from our goal.
Finding contentment without falling prey to the seductiveness of the rat race reminds me of a classic fable about an American executive and a Mexican fisherman. This fable is adapted from a short story by the German author Heinrich Böll. This is considered one of his best stories for its profound wisdom.
The story speaks for itself, so I’ll stop here. But . . . promise me that you will really ponder what you read and ask yourself whether your daily chase hinders your contentment. If so, you’re doing life wrong, just as I was. That said, there’s always time to change direction and chase what matters. Enjoy!
The Fable of The Fisherman
An American executive was taking a much-needed vacation in a Mexican coastal village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.
“Not very long,” answered the Mexican.
“But then, why didn’t you stay out longer and catch more?” asked the American.
The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family.
The American asked, “But what do you do with the rest of your time?”
“I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta with my wife. In the evenings, I go into the village to see my friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs . . . I have a busy and full life.”
The American interrupted, “I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat.”
“And after that?” asked the Mexican.
“With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York City! From there you can direct your huge new enterprise.”
“How long would that take?” asked the Mexican.
“Twenty, perhaps 25 years,” replied the American.
“And after that?” the Mexican asked.
“Afterwards? That’s when it gets really interesting,” answered the American, laughing. “When your business gets really big, you can start selling stocks and make millions!”
“Millions? Really? And after that?”
“After that you’ll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends.”
- Check out COREYSPEAKS.COM for more on popular keynote speaker Corey Ciocchetti. Corey has keynotes on happiness, integrity, ethical leadership, ethical decision-making, morale, stress reduction, and professionalism. Corey has spoken in 44 states and over 250 cities since 2007.
- Check out Corey’s other cool ethics blog posts on LEADERSHIP and HAPPINESS – you won’t regret it.
- Corey’s new book, INSPIRE INTEGRITY: CHASE AN AUTHENTIC LIFE is available now!
